just thoughts

  I really don't know what the fuck is my problem, I do things that I don't know why I do ... Well let's start at the beginning .
  I was never popular , never done " part of the crowd " despite talk to everyone n go to parties anyways, but I never feel confortable in these parties ... until my first and a bit of the second year of high school I cared too much about appearances, and I wanted to have one, no matter what it was, so I started drinking a lot, I mean, actually I do not care to much about what others think of me, but I don't know, I wanted to have an appearance I think to myself, wanted to create a life in which I was much more interesting like these "crazys bitches" we see in films and think "this is so fucking awesome", then what i did, I started to get drunk all the fucking time, I started this with my 14 years , but every year I got worse and worse and drunk and I became my "character", I just believe in my own lie, cause i tell it to myself so many times, also to deceive the pain I felt whenever I was buzzing and the crowd did things to me when I was drunk, I ended up "calling" the fuck up and tried not to be bitter, but at first I just pretended, inside I wanted to disappear and make everyone who made ​​me suffer feel the same fucking pain, and I got this rage inside me until now ( I'm 19 now ), oops, I'm getting ahead of myself here, let's go back to my "character", I was like, that girl does not care about anything, say and do whathever she want and don't give a fuck, drinking and picks whoever she want, talking about sex and who likes rock and stuff, I wanted to be and live the sex drugs and rock n' roll, and even today a part of me wants to be like this, but understand, I was super insecure about everything, frustrated with life since I was 12, 13 years, I think the world sucks, and I hated live in small town.
  Well, reading this i really think that i'm fucked up, i'm a mess, but now i'm tired so tomorrow i continue my history, now i'll play assassins creed :D.
 XOXO

To fudida fisicamente

Nossa faz tempo que não escrevo, aiai, e na verdade hoje não estou muito inspirada também, estou morrendo de dor de cabeça e dor no estomago :( e a aula de pilates e de volei nao ajudaram muito hahaha.
Anyways, beem, vamos ver, esse fds eu fui no bela como sempre comemorar o niver de uma amiga minha, foi bem legal, eu ri tanto que fiquei com dor no maxilar e com dor de cabeça hahaa, conheci um casal novo, gente boa pra caramba, conversei bastante com a joice, que eu ja conhecia mas nunca tinha conversado mesmo, e meu, massa pra caramba essa nega, a gente se deu muito bem, gostei ahha, aaah tinha um cara sentado na mesa do lado que eu nao conseguia parar de olhar por dois motivos, primeiro ele era lindo, segundo, ele parecia muito um ator que eu curto muito e que é lindo ahahah, nossa pra melhorar to com dor nos pulsos tambem, aae valeu vida, um grandississimo vai tomar no cu pra vc :D.
Ah nao sei o que falar mesmo, nao ta baixando inspiração, tipo na verdade eu tenho bastante coisa pra escrever, mas nao sei como e to com muita preguiça, porque são vários assuntos diferentes e tals, quem sabe amanha, depois de ir na sonia resolver minhas costas e ombros que estão todos fudidos por causa da academia e do trabalho eu fique com mais vontade ahah, bem to saindo aqui, assistir alguma coisa :D.